What’s the dumbest way you’ve ever injured yourself?
Pulled my back while washing my face. Got injured trying to be hygienic.
What food would you eat every day if your body wouldn’t betray you?
Carbs. If bread is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
What are things that instantly makes you rage (but only a little)?
Wet socks, people who litter, and being perceived in public.
What’s your toxic trait in co-op games?
Trolling. Just a smidge of menace to keep things interesting.
What’s your comfort game and what does it say about you?
Competitive shooters. I enjoy being humbled by 12-year-olds.
Which video game character would you simp for?
Wattson from Apex. I’d let her electrify my whole life tbh.
What’s something you irrationally hated as a kid?
Glitter. It’s the herpes of the craft world.
What would be your weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse?
Machete. Ain't nobody got time to reload.
What song would you absolutely crush in karaoke (or think you would)?
Tequila by The Champs. Iconic. Catchy. One word.
What’s a useless skill you’re secretly proud of?
Spinning my tennis racket like I’m summoning wind magic.
What’s your most irrational fear?
Being late and missing the school bus. I’m in my 30s btw.
If you had to be haunted by a ghost, who would you want it to be?
Casper. He seems emotionally available.
Which game do you pretend to like because everyone else does?
Pokémon. I like it, but not 900+ creatures worth of like.
What fictional food do you wish you could eat in real life?
Senzu beans. If you’re old like me, this should be the only answer.
What’s a game you wish you could experience again for the first time?
Apex Legends. First time was magical. Now it’s emotional damage.
Which “reliable” tech items always betray you?
My PC and mic. They’re in a toxic relationship and I’m just in the middle.
What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a kid?
I believed people had superpowers. Like, Kamehameha superpowers.
What’s something you do that makes you feel like you have your life together?
Making my bed. It’s the illusion of control I need to help get me through the day.
What’s something completely normal that gives you the ick?
Yogurt. It’s basically tangy, bacteria-curdled milk goo.
What’s something small that irrationally stresses you out?
Dust. I'd make my left hand a permanent feather duster if I could.
How long is “five more minutes” when you’re in bed?
One entire feature film.
If you could tell your past self one piece of advice, what would it be?
For the love of God, take care of your mental health. Therapy and meds are expensive.
What’s your “this shouldn’t be a personality trait, but it is” thing?
Wanting everything to be clean, neat, and dust-free. My standards are fighting my energy levels daily.
What is something you’re very competitive about that does not matter at all?
Tennis. Hitting green, fuzzy balls is serious business.
What’s something you’d do more of if you weren’t afraid of judgment?
Go outside. Sunlight makes me less feral, but I have severe anxiety.
What do you daydream about the most?
You.